After the Harvest: Jesse's Story
by 10WeepingAngel
Summary: Takes place after The Harvest. Jesse becomes a ghost after being staked by Xander, and this is his perspective on what happens next.
1. Chapter 1: Dying

**A/N: New story! This will be a multi-chapter fic. Please read & review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. That honor belongs to Joss Whedon, and probably some other people who aren't me.**

**Summary: Takes place after The Harvest. Jesse has become a ghost after being staked by Xander, and this is his perspective on what happens next.**

**Rated: T for violence and angst.**

**After the Harvest: Jesse's Story**

**Chapter 1: Dying**

Jesse stared down in disbelief at the stake sticking out of his chest. He couldn't believe it. _Xander_ had staked him. His best friend for as long as either of them could remember had killed him.

He felt suddenly that he was watching the scene from very far away, and cried out as he came rushing back, his soul returning from the ether in the moment of death. But it was far too late for his returning soul to do him any good. He could feel his body disintegrating, his molecules breaking down as the demon within him died.

He screamed once, in rage, that he was returning only to die. His body crumbled into dust and he could feel his soul trying to rush away, to go on. To die.

And with all his heart he screamed _"No!"_ The rushing feeling stopped. By his own will he was remaining, and he felt his ties with the earth slowly reassert themselves. He wasn't going anywhere, and a flood of relief washed through him.

Until he looked down, and remembered that he had no body. It was dust and he was…a_ ghost, _he realized suddenly. He wondered if things could get any worse. First a vampire, now a ghost? This couldn't be happening.

Jesse decided firmly to not think about it. Not now anyway. He had to check on his friends, see if he could get a message to Willow or Xander, tell them that he was still around.

Although, he couldn't help but feel a little pissed at Xander. The guy did kind of _kill_ him. Who kills their own best friend, even if he is a vampire?

He sighed. As a vampire, he had been trying to kill his friends. He supposed he shouldn't hold a grudge, and looked around.

He was still in the bronze, drifting near the edge of the dance floor where he had been killed. The place was a shambles, with people screaming and fighting to escape. He looked up at the fight on the stage, where Buffy was fighting Luke.

Even though he knew that she was the slayer, it was a shock to see her fighting Luke with such ease and strength. Soon however, Luke began to turn the tide of the fight. Jesse tried to move forward, whether to help or just to see what was going on he wasn't sure. He quickly realized, however, that he couldn't move at all. Stupid disintegrated body.

He looked up at the stage in time to see Buffy trick Luke by breaking the window. Jesse couldn't believe that Luke was stupid enough to fall for that. What the hell kind of vampire couldn't tell the difference between a streetlight and the sun?

He watched Buffy kill a distracted Luke with ease, and as the other vampires fled, knowing that the harvest was a failure, Willow and Xander moved toward Buffy to check on her.

Jesse watched them talking and joking together with something approaching horror. Xander looked sad, but not devastated. They were reassuring him that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault that Jesse was dead.

Jesse would've liked to voice his own opinion on that particular matter, but he couldn't speak, or even get closer to them, so he gave that up as useless. He watched them leave together, and wondered how Willow and Xander could look so calm, so nonchalant about their oldest friend being staked. It was like they didn't care.

He stared at the door they had exited through and felt rage rising within him, strong enough to finally fuel his lost voice. _"I'm still here!" _he screamed at the closed door. Quieter, he repeated, _"I'm still here."_


	2. Chapter 2: Watching

**A/N: New chapter! Sorry it took so long to post. I had other things going on and I got sidetracked by other projects. Enjoy, and please review!**

**Chapter 2: Watching**

Jesse paced furiously up and down the sidewalk in front of Buffy's house. They were all in there, Buffy and Willow and Xander all celebrating their spectacular victory over the Master. Well, that and Xander's spectacular newfound ability to raise the dead.

Buffy had been dead. Just like she was supposed to be, just like the prophecy had decreed. And Jesse had thought, just for a little while, that she would stay that way, would no longer be _replacing_ him with _his_ friends. He had thought that maybe without a replacement, Willow and Xander would remember that Jesse had existed, remember to mourn him.

But Xander wasn't willing to let Buffy die, not like he'd been willing to let Jesse die. He had actually _brought her back from the dead_. Why did Buffy get another chance? All Jesse got to do was watch.

And he had been watching them, _haunting_ them for _months_ without them noticing. They were constantly tracking down ghosts and vampires and witches, but they somehow managed to completely overlook the ghost that had been following them around and glaring at them _for months._

Jesse had thought at first that he'd be able to get them to hear him, at least. That they could communicate, that he could still be a part of their lives, even if he had lost his. They could have another chance and it would be okay that Xander had killed him because he wasn't _gone_, just _dead_.

But they couldn't hear him, no matter how loud he shouted or how angry he got. They couldn't hear him and didn't bother to try. They never even considered the possibility that he was still there, still near them, not gone forever. He couldn't believe that for them he had stayed, had become _this._

Invisible, useless, unable to affect anything around him. Just watching them live their lives without him. He watched Willow and Xander and Buffy become best friends. He watched them hunt vampires together, and go on daring adventures. And he watched them win. Again and again, when they should have lost, given up, and died, they had won.

Jesse couldn't help but wonder what luck they had that let them survive, while he lost everything. He knew that he wasn't the only one to die in Sunnydale. People died everyday, killed by some of the things that lurked in the dark. Buffy couldn't save all of them, and _didn't_ save all of them, just the ones that mattered: Willow and Xander, her best friends.

They had been his best friends too, once. Now they didn't even remember him. Jesse wished that he could be with them again. He wanted to be _alive_ again, more than anything. He stared at the bright lights that sparkled within the house and wished. He was furious when the words finally rushed out of him, a storm of rage: "I WISH I WAS ALIVE AGAIN!" Jesse screamed.

There was a low laugh behind him, and he whirled around in shock. A woman stood there, grinning at him, her face twisted and wrinkled like a peach pit. "Done," she said with a smile, and the world went white.


End file.
